Without further ado...

So I promised on my other blog (http://benikeboutique.blogspot.com/) that I would post my kitchen soon.  And if I don't do it soon, well, who knows when I will get around to it! Now I realize that if you hadn't seen our kitchen prior to the fire, you won't notice the awesome transformation as much, but I'm sure you'll still be able to appreciate my gorgeous kitchen for what it is! :)

This is taken from standing in our dining room.  There used to be a wall separating the two rooms.  We removed it and replaced it with the breakfast bar just showing on the right side edge of this shot.  The walls are a light blue, because I love the flag.  So Red, White & Blue are the theme.  You can't see it here, but I also finally got that dishwasher installed! YAY! The glass doors at the other end will hopefully some day be home to my grandma's dishes.  She always told me that I could have them as soon as I had a place to store/show them.  And since I'm not the only one who wants them, I thought I would only take part of them, so everyone could enjoy them.  You can also see through the door into our entry way/laundry room.  Unfortunately, its not the prettiest of views here :)

This is just me trying to get the entire room into one shot without switching lenses.  I love love my kitchen.  I talked a lot about the range and microwave which are high end (for me) in this post on the other blog.  The fridge is also quite a feat! I knew I wanted this style, but to find one in black, in this style and that fit the space the cabinet guy allowed was a BIG challenge.  We ended up getting one brought down from the cities!



This is a great picture of the sink, amazing window and that dishwasher I was talking about! In the old kitchen we had cabinets all the way to the ceiling.  They seemed amazing when we bought the house, but I honestly never used them.  Now that I have that space to utilize this way, I wasn't sure what to do with it.  It's quickly filling up with glass pieces that I am collecting unintentionally. But I like it.  Of course, Miah's fire trucks have outgrown the curio cabinet and quickly over taking my kitchen shelves as well!

Another thing I love about my kitchen - TONS of cabinets and counter top space! Which gets used well!

 Finally! I have a pantry! Not my dream pantry by any means, but it is so great to have it, I sure won't complain! Its not that wide, but it is super deep, so it actually stores a lot of food!

I had to include this picture even though it isn't technically part of the kitchen.  It's a hand print Olivia and I made of her hand in December 2011.  It sits on the end of the breakfast bar by the phone.  I see it multiple times every day and I can't help but feel better when I look at it.  Every mother loves her children (I hope) but not every mother has had to go through what I have had to go through to be with her children.  My babies are my world and then some. This little hand reminds me of all the days I missed and how fleeting these little moments are.  You'd think that'd make me sad, and sometimes it does.  But it also makes me feel so much happiness I actually tear up.  Because I know how lucky I am to be here.  Life is more precious than any of us realize. 



weird!

Today was busy for me! Not more than normal, but kinda different than normal.  Miah was on kiddo duty while I went in for another prosthetic appointment.  I was picking up my final socket that was done like SEVERAL weeks ago - oops! I plan on posting several pics down the road of the donning process so you can all see what my leg looks like and how I put it on.  To me, it's second nature, but maybe other's are interested in it??

At any rate, today was also weird.  Some normal weird stuff, some annoying weird stuff and some good weird stuff.  First off - your regular old weird.  I saw a skunk that was dead on the road.  Like fresh road kill.  Not frozen-to-the-road road kill.  That's weird to me because I remember when I was a kid and I watched Bambi, Bambi and Thumper always had to way Flower up when it was Spring because he hybernated.  Did someone forget to tell that skunk on the road? Even more weird, thanks to facebook and a small community, I later found out I know who hit that skunk in January.  :)

Annoying weird could also be called dangerous weird stuff.  I was on 37th ST today and I was coming down the on ramp to get on to Hwy 52.  A semi (sam's club semi heading south!!) was in the lane.  He was not going fast like most cars, but at least the speed limit.  There was no one in the other TWO lanes, but he did not move over.  He instead stayed in the outside lane.  I had to actually move over to the shoulder as my on ramp lane was ending and I had to slow down.  Very annoying, but could've easily turned dangerous.

Another annoying which was actually a little dangerous, just a few miles down the same road, all the lanes quickly lit up with break lights all across.  They weren't stopping and I hadn't heard anything, so I didn't think it was an accident.  It was at an always congested area (the off ramp for second street, which always seems to collide with traffic trying to get on 52 South from Fourteen West (my four key is broke)).  But the problem I soon found out was this little dinky car driving anywhere from forty all the way up to - brace yourself - forty six miles per hour!!!! Come on!! At least the car was in the right lane and not going that slow in the fast lane! 

The last thing - good weird.  I had a great day! I went to Hobby Lobby and only spend 10.68!! Write it down! Seriously, this is a very rare occurence for me.  Next I went to the dollar store where I only spent 30 and change.  Most of that purchase was for craft needs (love getting those at the dollar store) and for some pieces I needed as Emma and I will be making valentines this year for her parties.  Of course the tutorial will be posted on http://benikeboutique.blogspot.com/ :)

Not only was I reveling in my killer deals all the way home, but it is January 26th and it was 37 degrees!!! I had the sun roof open.  And that is not the first day this month I've done that.  I wasn't even wearing my jacket! I love the snow and the changing weather that we have here in this amazing state.  But there is something fun about things like no jackets in January! More good weird! So hopefully your day was filled with as much weird as mine! It makes life so much more fun!

AKA + ice skating = funny stuff!!

Just so you know, when I write "AKA", it stands for Above Knee Amputee - in case you couldn't figure that out!

This was awhile ago, but as usual, I'm lucky I'm even getting to it now! Ha! My 6 year old earned a fun day along  with the rest of her Girl Scout trip.  The leaders decided to have a skating party. How perfect! I'm mildly embarrassed to admit that I have lived in Minnesota my entire life and have never been skating.  I even lived 2 blocks from a rink growing up.  But we could not afford skates, so I would watch from afar in wonderment of how they did that.  I learned something else about the person I've spent the last 8+ years with - he had never been skating either.  And he's lived here a lot long than me - hehe!!   We have both always wanted to go (which we also did not know about  each other) and I had always thought itd be really fun to take the kids too.  So this day was a perfect opportunity for us - plus it was free thanks to the troop! Yay!

I was super nervous, but I decided a long time ago that I would not be one of the people who say "I can't" just because of the leg.  Now obviously there are things I cant do with this particular leg, but that even rarely stops me from at least trying.  So of course skating was no different.  I put the skate on my prosthetic first.  I was ready to throw in the towel at that point as I knew that the height was different than my tennis (which is what the leg is set to so I am able to walk properly) but I had miah lace up the boot anyway.  I stood up on my own and was actually able to do so quite easily.  I took a few steps around just on the rubber flooring.  And that too seemed perfectly safe.   So I cautiously made my way to the ice. 

Miah and Emma were already out there, so I had the four and three year olds.  Who were excited, scared and nervous.  All at varying degrees, all at different times.  We all went out to the ice and it was a disaster.  But a quick one.  Miah grabbed O and N slipped and slid all over - quickly loving every minute of it.  He quickly adjusted and even though couldn't stay on his feet alone (they had PVC "walkers" that would allow the kids to "skate" with out an adult).  O and Miah hung out by the wall for safety :)

With one hand on the wall I put one skate on the ice with one skate still on the rubber.  But that didn't go well as the ice foot quickly took off without the rest of me.  Without giving it much thought, I quickly placed the other foot on the ice, firmly under me.  I was holding onto the wall for dear life, but that is quite a taxing task as there is really nothing to hold on to there!  Both skates started going in opposite directions as I struggled with all my might to get the prosthetic to pull back so  I could lock the knee.  The harder I contracted my thigh muscle to pull back, the farther my sound foot pushed back.  An image of my in a mess on the ice in front of everyone with my legs all in disarray after a near splits gone bad moment  flashed in front of my eyes.  I quickly made my way back to the rubber and called it a day.  :)

I put my tennis back on and went to the ice to do something else I loved - snap amazing pictures of my babies smiling faces.  And I got some great shots of other families there too.  So I cant ice skate just yet (I plan on talking to my prosthetic guy to see if there is an easy fix I can try to make it possible) but I was enjoying the day just as much as the kids because these are the days I fought so hard for.  These are the days that I sacrificed everything for a year of precious time with my babies for.   These are the days all right! God sure is good!  :)

To be totally honest, I'm drawing a blank.  I'm having one of those blocks I guess.  I blame the good episode of Harry's Law.  Although not the first time I've seen the twins passing as one woman gig...there was a similar story line on CSI: Miami (I think) awhile back with triplets posing as one wife too.  But hey, I guess it must be good TV, here I am watching, attempting to post.

OK - a commercial - better hurry! I am quite spoiled lately.  It's somewhere between 8 and 9 PM and I am in my bed, with my laptop watching TV.  I can not explain how rare that is.  But, its not pure bliss.  My prosthetic must've been on just slightly turned a little today because there is a terrible sore on the back side that is causing me some fairly intense irritation/pain. 

Last night I was up WAY to late on facebook.  Like most of you, I have seen the posts and petitions on facebook requesting a bald barbie.  I thought the "home made" baldie I had seen attached to some of the posts was a little frightening.  And I didn't pay much attention after that.  Afterwords I thought, that must be exactly how the kids felt.  Not just my kids, but my daycare kids, and my kids' friends and all the other kids who I caught staring at me without a single hair on my body. 


In a short amount of time the American Cancer Society got wind of this.  I would post their address to the issue here, but it's quite long so I will give you the link. There are SO many comments made in this article by the author that made my blood boil.  As an adult woman with children of my own, who suffers from a pediatric cancer at a young age, I am beyond appalled.  I have so much anger for the person who wrote this.  It is clear to me that they have not personally felt what a cancer diagnosis does to you. 

A very wise woman I know (who is a 20+ year Stage IV breast cancer survivor) said that you are never cured.  You always have a cancer cell or two in your body, that's why your odds of getting cancer again are so much higher than other's. 

~~Ok, I just checked the article to make sure that I wasn't misstating something.  And the ACS has removed the article and replaced it with an apology. You can still read through the several hundred comments to see the gist of the original post. To my recollection there were comments about how making the barbie would not help childhood cancer but rather make it worse.  He (the author) sighted examples such as over awareness in breast  cancer in things like how the general market place is inundated with pink stuff and how awareness has created mass hysteria because there are women who will hear they have pre-cancerous cells and will immediately go in for a double bilateral mastectomy (Both breasts taken completely off) and other such things.  I also felt that weather it was the intent of the author or not, he significantly downplayed childhood cancer by calling it "rare".  Unfortunately there was much more, but I have spent nearly twenty four hours trying to get it out of my mind. 

Thankfully someone at ACS had enough sense to have the article removed.  However, the so called apology does not make me feel any better.  And I seriously doubt I will continue to contribute time or money to the ACS. There are tons of other reputable and honest charities out there fighting for awareness, fundraising for a cure and supporting families in ANY capacity. 

Being a part of something bigger than yourself - We all can do it!

Can I have $25.00? I doubt if I just walked up to you and asked you'd willingly hand it over, you would.  But if after you read this, you don't feel that you could skip buying the next round with your buddies, or put off that new pair of shoes for just a bit longer, than I won't be mad.  But, if you could donate the money (or more) you'd be doing much more than make me happy.

Most of you have probably heard me talk at some point about Nick & Friends Sarcoma Foundation.  I have a page dedicated to them on my website for the shop (just click on their tab at the top).   And I've talked about them on my caringbridge pages from time to time I'm sure.  I also helped raise some funds for them via facebook apps by donating my birthday.  And if you know me, you also know that paying it forward is one of the most important things to me.

Well, folks we are faced with another golden opportunity here. To do what we always say we will - pay it forward. My very favorite charity is in need.  They have lost both computers they use for the foundation.  I don't have to explain how crucial having these computers are to furthering their cause.  They are a small charity that is family run and they give all the money raised to research and helping families with various financial needs.  So, there is no money in the account to replace these two computers.

Nick & Friends did a lot for me when I was in the hospital.  They personally listened to my fears and complaints, and offered a shoulder to cry on, any time. They've connected me to other people with my cancer.  They sent gift cards to Jeremiah for gas and food while I was sick.  Maybe most importantly to me, they have kept, and still keep, my kids in their hearts.  They have sent care packages to the kids and still include them in the Angel Tree and Christmas. 

Andrea and Clyde, along with their boys (they founded the charity) have touched my hearts in more ways than one.  And I personally know the world needs them to continue their work.  That means they need these computers. I would like to raise at least $1,000.  For that to happen, I need forty people to donate at least $25.00.  Now, I am going to be the first one, so I need to find 39 other big-hearted-happy-pay-it-forward people.  Will you be one of them? I hope so. I really do.  Click the link below, its fast & secure.

https://www.justgive.org/nonprofits/donate.jsp?ein=26-4447529&amount=25&isRecurring=true

Is it a conspiracy around here??

Before we put the house back together after the fire we made a few changes that would help aid in my disability. (I think that's the first time I've ever called it that...) We removed doorways, finally added that built in dishwasher, and lastly gave up our entry closet to a new laundry room. 

The more open concept has been better than we expected.  The dishes still fill up in the sink, but at least I don't waste at least a half hour of my very precious time every single day begrudginly washing that sink full.  I simply put them in the dishwasher and 5 minutes later - done! (Sort of...there's always at least four dirty dishes in this house, so they're never all clean.)

The laundry....now that's a totally different story.  I remember when I was younger and single. I changed my clothes a lot.  I mean, you have your laying around the house clothes, your work uniform, your going out with friends outfit...so I had a lot of laundry.  However, I was still able to maintain one wash day.  Then, my now husband entered the picture.  He didn't change his clothes as much, but there was obviously still more to do.  I switched my laundry day to a, whenever-a-load-needs-to-be-done policy. 

Then we started having kids.  Oh my Lord! I recall thinking, how can such teenie tiny clothes, even in multiples, amount to so much more laundry? I adjusted and even almost rather enjoyed it.  In fact, I've never really despised laundry.  But I can easily see how one comes to this mind-set.  

I have done away with one laundry day, and the as-needed system is still partially in effect. Except that it has left me nearly constantly doing laundry.  So here's what happens in our house; I wash a load, and then another and possibly even a third.  But at this point I don't have enough space to keep the clean laundry separate from the still dirty laundry.  Sure the clean clothes are in baskets and the dirty clothes are still on the floor. But I guess somehow the other members of my family still confuse what is clean and what is dirty. 

So then I transfer the clean clothes baskets to my bedroom (its right off the laundry room - intentionally done on my part for convenience... maybe I didn't think that through entirely ;) )  That temporarily fixes the problem.  However as the week goes on and this system continues, I find that eventually I have a small meandering path through my bedroom.  This is not desirable for me. So I give in and devote as much time as needed to finish whatever loads are still dirty, sort, fold and probably even put away each and every single article. 

FINALLY!! It is done! What a relief! I mean, I actually feel better! Like I can breathe easier and I am considering even inviting someone over! I go out to the living room to sit down in the chair to rest and re-live my victory.  Uh-oh...whats that laying on the floor? Emma's socks and Olivia's sweater? Ugh...guess the laundry is never actually done around here either! But I am still smiling! Why? Because first, I am lucky enough to be able to do my own laundry and two, its good job security.

Another Manic Monday ... Better than Mayo Monday!!!

I am not sure why Mondays are so disliked here.  Its really just any other day.  But every Monday comes and I dread getting up, regardless of how much sleep I got.  I start running through the never ending list of things I have to get done.  I begin to feel frustrated and overwhelmed. So I sit down with my lap top in hand ready to start knocking stuff off that list.  Suddenly the website I'm using crashes. 

I head over to facebook to kill some time. Because I have so much 'extra' time. Check the other website which is still down.  Decide I MUST find the remote that has been missing for weeks.  I pull apart all the cushions and all the furniture and dig underneath everything.  Of course I now have a huge mess and still no remote.  I don't want to pick up all this crap because that wasn't on the list when I woke up and that would set me back even farther. 

So I go back to the lap top and leave the stuff for later.  The website is still down.  Back to facebook - which is being to slow for me.  Clearly this is a sign from God that I am supposed to do nothing today! :)  Maybe Mondays aren't so bad after all! I guess we will see!

Lets try this again...

Ok.  So obviously I wasn't really excited about doing the blog before.  Well, that's not entirely true.  It was also that I felt a ridiculous amount of pressure to write something amazing, and every time I tried, I got a huge writer's block.  Well, fast forward about a year or so and I have begun to really fall in love with blogging. 

I have been reading a lot of books about blogging lately (which seems a little weird...books about blogging?? Are there blogs out books too?! ;) ) Anyway, I still feel highly intimidated by the techy side of it, but I realize its an awesome beginning to one of my biggest goals - a published writer.  Not just a published writer, a AMAZINGLY SUCCESSFUL published writer.  So what better place to start than here?

I would give you a recap of my life in the last year, but that just feels boring.  We had the little house fire which everyone already knows about.  Cancer and MS took a back seat for once.  And trying different leg sockets, appointments and busy kids filled my days.  I feel a little silly, but ever since I nearly died, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and the like are all so much better.  Even if I dont do something really memorable or fun, I love just being here to experience them.  And every day that goes by, especially a day that goes by at home, with my family, is another day that life is good!

My lasagna smells to good to stay here and keep typing! :) Till next time - whenever that may be! ha!