Victory was mine!

Yesterday was simply gorgeous here.  Truly a gift! We decided to take full advantage of it and make it a family fun day.  We set out on our journey and found ourselves at the bottom of what is called the Elba Fire Tower. It's a really cool little local spot.  Here is a story on the tower..not the best quality, but still gives you an idea. The first 140 some steps have names carved in them with messages.  Here's a story the newspaper did on one of them.  Pretty neat!
  
 I've lived here all my life and never been here.  Mostly because of my insane fear of heights.  But also because I used to smoke and didn't know if I could hack the climb.  Life's to short, and I don't smoke anymore, so why not give it a try?! My husband said, "if you can't go all the way, we'll turn around".  All the while knowing that if I started it, I was going to finish it.

It took me about 85 minutes to go all the way up, take in the view, and all the way back down. All 742 (or so) steps.  The biggest challenge for me was that the steps were not all uniform.  Some were taller than others, some were wider than others, and I had to continue to change how I went up.  Of course my thigh and calf were on fire, and even though it really hurts today, it was still worth every step!

My youngest patiently waiting for me to catch up.  If you look closely you can tell that you can not see the end of the steps.  This was closer to the bottom.

I was greeted with many smiles, compliments and handshakes during a relatively busy day at the tower.  It was nice, but also strange.  It was really personal for me.  Proving to myself I could do things that I didn't think I could do when I had my own 2 legs.

100 feet tall rickety tower...no thanks! But my family was brave enough!

View from the top of the tower. That's the ball field where many games are held.

Elba Church - view from the bottom of the tower

I am definitely crossing this one off the bucket list.  Thank you Lord!

My latest Prosthetic victory!

Yikes! Already March 5th! I just realized tonight that I posted less than a handful of times in February.  Now that's a little sad.  I guess I focus on my other blog so much and creating the image I want for my some day actual business, that I forget about this one.  And I've honestly been so busy with Girl Scout Cookie Sales, I have little time left for a personal blog. But I've wanted to share something exciting for awhile.  So I made some time! :)

If you are a prosthetic wearer, or you know one, you know that every day is a victory in and of itself.  I did a post awhile back about my leg.    I talked about wanting toe nails that we could paint.  I went to Walmart and bought some regular acrylic toe nails. 

I did it like you would do any other acrylic nail.  I held up the closest size to the "real" nail.  I shaped, filed and sanded those nails like mad! It was a challenge for sure.  The toes are laid almost side ways on the prosthetic foot.  The more I look at it, the weirder I think it looks.  But its better than nothing. 

Yes, this picture probably looks familiar.  I was so excited to put the nails on, I forgot to take a true before picture! :) But, here is the foot I have before I put the nails on it.  It gets really scuffed and dirty (even in my sock and shoe) so I just wash up the foot shell with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser and then wipe it down with a Clorox wipe just because that's who I am.

Ta-Da! One foot shell with realish looking toe nails. Hell, lets be honest, these look better than most real toenails! And of course these can be painted.  And with the right remover they can be repainted. 

Some tips I have for anyone else wanting to do this would be: make sure you clip and sand in small increments.  I had to completely reshape the last 3 nails.  The foot shell nail was nothing like the acrylic shape.  So just do this in small steps. I also cut it much shorter.  I made sure there was no way to catch the acrylic on a sock or something and rip the nail off.  Also, the instructions say to only use a few drops of the glue.  I gobbed it on.  I used the included stick to clean off any extra as soon as I pressed the nail down.  I tried to hold them down with my finger and took extra care to try not to let them bend - even slightly.  Because any slight opposite bend created these whitish lines. And if you used the stick to press them down you will get these same white lines.  They are hard to see to the naked eye and you can not really tell looking down when I have the leg one, but of course I know they are there, and so I can really tell :)

I hope this helps someone (if they haven't already done this!) and I will try to remember to update how they do against wear and polish and the like! Here's hoping for some sandal weather soon!

My prosthetic leg

I've been meaning to post this for a long time.  But things have been unusually crazy around here lately.  I'm the new cookie mom for the troop of 22 girls.  I was never in Girl Scouts as a girl, and this is her first year too, so I wasn't completely sure what I was getting in to.  Its fun, but its a LOT of work.  Besides that, Miah has had a few appointments this past week; annual check up and a MRI.  Which we wont know the results of for a few days. 

BUT on with the leg post.  I wanted  to show everyone how every day starts for me. First let me break down the components for you.  The part that goes between me and the device is called a sleeve/liner.  I wear an Alps EasyGel Liner.  The part my leg goes into is the socket.  And the socket is connected to the "leg".
 
I also had to have a special piece made for my leg that goes inside the sleeve.  That's called the end cap.  The first thing I do every morning is to wash the sleeve and the end cap very well with softsoap.  Heres what my very old end cap looks like, and yes, I need a new one!

I have the end cap for 2 reasons.  The first reason is because I was getting what is called negative pressure.  This is where the socket creates a milking (like on a cow) sensation on the end of my leg.  That pulls all the blood down to the end and can also cause other problems, like me not being able to use the leg like I should, etc.  The second reason is that I had a nodule at the end of my limb that was created by to much negative pressure.  So now, we are trying to "push" that back in.

You can see the dark area on the side of my leg.  Thats from the negative pressure.  You can also see the redish nodule.  Its MUCH smaller than it was before.  Ok, so after I wash and dry it really well, its time to start donning (putting it on).  I use a potato based natural lotion to roll the sleeve on.

I squeeze some inside the sleeve, roll it around really well and then hold the end cap on my leg while I roll the sleeve up.

Holding the end cap on - see how it "rounds"out my leg - it gives it a better fit in the socket.

getting read to roll the gel liner/sleeve on...its quite the process (at first)

rolling it up...

sleeve is rolled all the way up, ready to go into the socket.

My socket is a suction socket.  It uses suction instead of straps or pins to keep the leg on my body. I use a newer design and the white ring inside is called a bladder. Although I have no idea why.

The "bladder" and the hole at the bottom is for the valve to go in

This is the part that goes next to my groin.  The padded part on the right side is the back.  That's where my leg/body takes the weight.  It uses a bone in the butt they call the sit bone.

The other side of my socket

There are many different combinations of sockets.  I've tried a few, and this is the one I like the best due to the way it fits on my bodyand feels.  It's not the most aesthetically pleasing since it pushes my one butt cheek way up. But after trying the alternative socket (it takes the pressure on a cross bone in your groin practically) I am fine with a funny looking back side.

This is all the way in the socket. (Viewing from the front)  I feel the hole in the bottom to make sure that I have gotten all the way into it.  If I'm not all the way down in the socket, the leg will not work right, and I will have more problems on my limb. I leave my sleeve long and skip trimming it short.  Multiple reasons, but mainly because it allows me to compensate for the sleeve "shrinking" down the road and it also provides a little extra cushion on the sit bone.

Everyone wants to know how the leg works. And it is freaking awesome.  I have an Otto Bock C-Leg with 2 modes.  At the time, this was the newest version they made.  Of course, a few months after I got mine, they came out with a new version that has 3 modes and does some other things.  The modes allow me to change the settings of the knee as it is a computerized knee. (So I could have my regular walking mode and a seperate mode for riding bike) It is extremely fascinating and I encourage everyone to read on it briefly.  Ottobock has also come out with a successor to the C-Leg, its called the genium.  I will have that leg some day.  It is beyond phenomenal.  I can not wait for bionic limbs, and this is a really close product in my opinion.

Back to my leg... I have a few other things to help me. I have an ankle rotator. It allows me to sort of pivot slightly while putting weight through my leg. And I have a knee rotator.  This is the big button on the inside of the leg just above the knee.  By pushing it, it allows the leg to go into free swing, meaning I can move the leg 360 degrees at the knee.  So I can turn the leg backwards at the knee and really freak people out! I can't walk that way obviously though so it's real purpose is to aid in dressing and getting in and out of the vehicle (I drive with my left foot on the regular pedals, so I use the rotator to get my prosthesis out of the way)

You can see the rotator just below the flesh part.  The red ports on the knee are to connect the blue tooth piece to change the setting for my gait and the other is to plug in the charger.

moving the leg using the rotator so I can change and tie my shoes.  You can also see the valve the I put in the socket's hole.

Everyone wants to see the foot.  It looks like a foot, but nothing like my foot.  No, I can't paint the toe nails, but I am going to try attaching acrylics to see if they hold up so I can paint them. I have 2 little girls - toe painting is a must!

I chose not to have a cover made this time.  I have had one in the past, but it got really dirty really easy and even though they did an awesome job with it, it didn't match my sound leg, so I just opted to go with out.  Plus it feels good to show off my C-leg! Not everyone who needs one gets one, so I feel proud.

Both my Legs with the prosthesis on.

Bad picture, but you can see - both legs in jeans, look pretty good to me! But feels even better!

I get tons of questions about the leg and the whole process and I don't mind one bit.  Obviously it was more pain than I could have imagined enduring.  And it took extreme physical strength to learn to walk again and power the leg (it weighs 10 pounds) with a 10" limb, but as hard as all that was, it's more mentally and emotionally toughness.  I deal with the loss of my leg every day, multiple times.  When I want to run and jump and dance and play with my girls without having to think about the leg.  And maybe some day that will be so.  But not today.  Today I have to remember to step with the right foot and to pay attention to how much weight I have over the top of the leg so the knee doesn't go.  There's a lot to be aware of and a lot to learn.  But of course I am thankful God gave me the chance to experience it.  And to be able to share this with all of you!



AKA + ice skating = funny stuff!!

Just so you know, when I write "AKA", it stands for Above Knee Amputee - in case you couldn't figure that out!

This was awhile ago, but as usual, I'm lucky I'm even getting to it now! Ha! My 6 year old earned a fun day along  with the rest of her Girl Scout trip.  The leaders decided to have a skating party. How perfect! I'm mildly embarrassed to admit that I have lived in Minnesota my entire life and have never been skating.  I even lived 2 blocks from a rink growing up.  But we could not afford skates, so I would watch from afar in wonderment of how they did that.  I learned something else about the person I've spent the last 8+ years with - he had never been skating either.  And he's lived here a lot long than me - hehe!!   We have both always wanted to go (which we also did not know about  each other) and I had always thought itd be really fun to take the kids too.  So this day was a perfect opportunity for us - plus it was free thanks to the troop! Yay!

I was super nervous, but I decided a long time ago that I would not be one of the people who say "I can't" just because of the leg.  Now obviously there are things I cant do with this particular leg, but that even rarely stops me from at least trying.  So of course skating was no different.  I put the skate on my prosthetic first.  I was ready to throw in the towel at that point as I knew that the height was different than my tennis (which is what the leg is set to so I am able to walk properly) but I had miah lace up the boot anyway.  I stood up on my own and was actually able to do so quite easily.  I took a few steps around just on the rubber flooring.  And that too seemed perfectly safe.   So I cautiously made my way to the ice. 

Miah and Emma were already out there, so I had the four and three year olds.  Who were excited, scared and nervous.  All at varying degrees, all at different times.  We all went out to the ice and it was a disaster.  But a quick one.  Miah grabbed O and N slipped and slid all over - quickly loving every minute of it.  He quickly adjusted and even though couldn't stay on his feet alone (they had PVC "walkers" that would allow the kids to "skate" with out an adult).  O and Miah hung out by the wall for safety :)

With one hand on the wall I put one skate on the ice with one skate still on the rubber.  But that didn't go well as the ice foot quickly took off without the rest of me.  Without giving it much thought, I quickly placed the other foot on the ice, firmly under me.  I was holding onto the wall for dear life, but that is quite a taxing task as there is really nothing to hold on to there!  Both skates started going in opposite directions as I struggled with all my might to get the prosthetic to pull back so  I could lock the knee.  The harder I contracted my thigh muscle to pull back, the farther my sound foot pushed back.  An image of my in a mess on the ice in front of everyone with my legs all in disarray after a near splits gone bad moment  flashed in front of my eyes.  I quickly made my way back to the rubber and called it a day.  :)

I put my tennis back on and went to the ice to do something else I loved - snap amazing pictures of my babies smiling faces.  And I got some great shots of other families there too.  So I cant ice skate just yet (I plan on talking to my prosthetic guy to see if there is an easy fix I can try to make it possible) but I was enjoying the day just as much as the kids because these are the days I fought so hard for.  These are the days that I sacrificed everything for a year of precious time with my babies for.   These are the days all right! God sure is good!  :)